Fic: 'Careful What You Wish For'
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irishvampire13
Title: 'Careful What You Wish For'
Rating: R seems a safe bet.
Word Count: 1,088
Prompt/Chosen character: Jenny (the Doctor's daughter): explosions, black books, discovery.
Notes/Warnings: Very dark. Implied character death. I never meant it to happen; the story just somehow took shape that way. *feels like a horrible person now* O.o'
Summary: She wanted to know more. Had to know more. Damn the consequences.
The running had started out as a quest to find the Doctor, to let him know that she'd survived Messaline. She'd run from planet to asteroid, searching for him, leaving her mark in any way.
Perhaps, if she were particularly lucky, he might pick up the traces of the mysterious blonde girl who tried to leave each location better than she'd found it. Perhaps he'd see the hand of his "daughter" and alter his path so that it crossed hers.
It was a fun plan, lovely and idealistic.
But, whereas the Doctor had access to time travel, Jenny did not. She was trapped traveling through Time in the boring, linear manner. In the same direction as everyone else: Forward.
Once Jenny had come to that disappointing realization, she scrapped the idealistic plan in favor of something more practical. She determined to be the sort of daughter whom the Doctor would be proud to claim as his own. To try to make the choices that he would make in a similar situation.
It wasn't always easy. But, then, she hadn't expected it to be. All she could rely on was her own judgment.
She hoped it would never fail her.
In between planet-hopping, and offering to help wherever she was able, Jenny took the time to research. She felt a strong desire to discover her own place in the universe, her own relevance. Having been cloned from the Doctor, she'd inadvertently inherited some--though certainly not all--of his memories. It gave her an advantage, one that would be strongly needed. Without those memories, she wouldn't have known which pieces of hearsay to listen to, which legends came with a grain of truth. And which to ignore altogether.
Well...to be completely honest, ignoring any rumor or stray scrap of data was not an option.
Jenny soon found herself gravitating to any system with a library, however small or poorly-stocked. Hours were whiled away poring over manuscripts, staring at readouts on computer monitors. She couldn't help appreciating the irony: She'd been created to be a warrior, a woman of action. And she'd rapidly turned herself into a bookworm.
Somehow, she couldn't help feeling that the Doctor would approve. Help people wherever possible, and learn at any opportunity. It was a good way to live.
And it couldn't hurt that the research she did was to inform herself about the Doctor, about his people. About the long-dead planet that she ached for, even without having seen it with her own eyes.
Gallifrey. Would she have been accepted there, she wondered? Would it have made a good home for her?
Jenny suspected not; she had too much of her father in her, she was sure. Too much wanderlust.
Still, she did wish that she could visit it. The planet that had shaped the Doctor--had even, however indirectly, shaped her. For all their faults, the Time Lords seemed like a fascinating race, inhabiting a gem of a planet. Not a paradise, of course--not judging from her research.
The Dark Days, in particular...those seemed a perfect horror. At least, if what few scraps Jenny could gather were anything to go by. The records and sources she consulted always seemed to be disturbingly reticent with regard to that era of the planet's history. The more Jenny delved, the more sparse the information became. As though, overcome with shame, the Time Lords had tried to eradicate all mention of that period.
Which, perhaps, they had.
Which, naturally, made the data all the more enticing. Forbidden fruit.
Hungry for more, Jenny chased every ghost of information on the Dark Days, however wispy and fragmented. No rumor was too unlikely to cast aside as unimportant. It soon became an obsession. A drug, after a fashion.
She wanted to know more. Had to know more. Damn the consequences.
A reference began to pop out at her as her research became more focused. An allusion. Possibly an illusion, but at least it was something. Something to hold Jenny's attention in between the times of aiding those in need--which were becoming few and far between as Jenny devoted herself to what she was learning.
Never mind the creeping horror she was beginning to feel, the eerie sense that a fuse had just been lit.
She'd begun to uncover vague rumors of a set of documents known as the Black Scrolls of Rassilon. Dark, hellish knowledge that no one must possess. It was implied that, had they ever existed, then they had been destroyed long ago, centuries before the Time War.
But...there were also whispers that copies had been made, bound into book form. That they could be found without too much difficulty, should anyone have the foolhardy wish to go looking. That they were housed in a library on an asteroid with an evil reputation, which in and of itself kept at bay all but the most determined. The reputation of the place was, indeed, so black that the access codes of the most secure vaults weren't even kept secret.
For surely none would be so idiotic--so virtually suicidal--as to deliberately seek out such knowledge.
Yet, by the time two months had passed since first hearing of the Scrolls, Jenny sat in her cockpit, ship controls set on autopilot, a stolen--but, really, having been cloned from a Gallifreyan, from the sole surviving Time Lord, surely she had the right?--book in her lap. Its cover was blacker than midnight.
Dread pooling in her stomach--the fuse lit within her soul felt mere centimeters long--hearts lodged in her throat, Jenny opened the book. Her eyes scanned the coal-colored pages, barely able to read the pale ink, though the language itself--a result of her shared Doctor-memories--posed almost no challenge. Squinting, Jenny read.
And read.
And...
...her soul-fuse reached its end.
Horror burst through her. Hearts pounding in her ears, a cold sweat covering her, Jenny stared at the book, every inch atremble.
The Time Lords had been right to try to erase the memory of the Hell that Gallifrey had been such a long time ago, before her father's time. They'd been right.
No mind should ever have housed the knowledge that Jenny now possessed. What she'd learned within just the first few pages...her stomach churned and roiled in terrified protest. And, so long as there was even one living mind in the entire universe that held something so bleak within it...
Dad--Doctor--forgive me...
Almost of its own accord, Jenny's hand reached for her ship's controls. Sought out the mechanisms that would start the countdown to self-destruct.
irishvampire13Title: 'Careful What You Wish For'
Rating: R seems a safe bet.
Word Count: 1,088
Prompt/Chosen character: Jenny (the Doctor's daughter): explosions, black books, discovery.
Notes/Warnings: Very dark. Implied character death. I never meant it to happen; the story just somehow took shape that way. *feels like a horrible person now* O.o'
Summary: She wanted to know more. Had to know more. Damn the consequences.
The running had started out as a quest to find the Doctor, to let him know that she'd survived Messaline. She'd run from planet to asteroid, searching for him, leaving her mark in any way.
Perhaps, if she were particularly lucky, he might pick up the traces of the mysterious blonde girl who tried to leave each location better than she'd found it. Perhaps he'd see the hand of his "daughter" and alter his path so that it crossed hers.
It was a fun plan, lovely and idealistic.
But, whereas the Doctor had access to time travel, Jenny did not. She was trapped traveling through Time in the boring, linear manner. In the same direction as everyone else: Forward.
Once Jenny had come to that disappointing realization, she scrapped the idealistic plan in favor of something more practical. She determined to be the sort of daughter whom the Doctor would be proud to claim as his own. To try to make the choices that he would make in a similar situation.
It wasn't always easy. But, then, she hadn't expected it to be. All she could rely on was her own judgment.
She hoped it would never fail her.
In between planet-hopping, and offering to help wherever she was able, Jenny took the time to research. She felt a strong desire to discover her own place in the universe, her own relevance. Having been cloned from the Doctor, she'd inadvertently inherited some--though certainly not all--of his memories. It gave her an advantage, one that would be strongly needed. Without those memories, she wouldn't have known which pieces of hearsay to listen to, which legends came with a grain of truth. And which to ignore altogether.
Well...to be completely honest, ignoring any rumor or stray scrap of data was not an option.
Jenny soon found herself gravitating to any system with a library, however small or poorly-stocked. Hours were whiled away poring over manuscripts, staring at readouts on computer monitors. She couldn't help appreciating the irony: She'd been created to be a warrior, a woman of action. And she'd rapidly turned herself into a bookworm.
Somehow, she couldn't help feeling that the Doctor would approve. Help people wherever possible, and learn at any opportunity. It was a good way to live.
And it couldn't hurt that the research she did was to inform herself about the Doctor, about his people. About the long-dead planet that she ached for, even without having seen it with her own eyes.
Gallifrey. Would she have been accepted there, she wondered? Would it have made a good home for her?
Jenny suspected not; she had too much of her father in her, she was sure. Too much wanderlust.
Still, she did wish that she could visit it. The planet that had shaped the Doctor--had even, however indirectly, shaped her. For all their faults, the Time Lords seemed like a fascinating race, inhabiting a gem of a planet. Not a paradise, of course--not judging from her research.
The Dark Days, in particular...those seemed a perfect horror. At least, if what few scraps Jenny could gather were anything to go by. The records and sources she consulted always seemed to be disturbingly reticent with regard to that era of the planet's history. The more Jenny delved, the more sparse the information became. As though, overcome with shame, the Time Lords had tried to eradicate all mention of that period.
Which, perhaps, they had.
Which, naturally, made the data all the more enticing. Forbidden fruit.
Hungry for more, Jenny chased every ghost of information on the Dark Days, however wispy and fragmented. No rumor was too unlikely to cast aside as unimportant. It soon became an obsession. A drug, after a fashion.
She wanted to know more. Had to know more. Damn the consequences.
A reference began to pop out at her as her research became more focused. An allusion. Possibly an illusion, but at least it was something. Something to hold Jenny's attention in between the times of aiding those in need--which were becoming few and far between as Jenny devoted herself to what she was learning.
Never mind the creeping horror she was beginning to feel, the eerie sense that a fuse had just been lit.
She'd begun to uncover vague rumors of a set of documents known as the Black Scrolls of Rassilon. Dark, hellish knowledge that no one must possess. It was implied that, had they ever existed, then they had been destroyed long ago, centuries before the Time War.
But...there were also whispers that copies had been made, bound into book form. That they could be found without too much difficulty, should anyone have the foolhardy wish to go looking. That they were housed in a library on an asteroid with an evil reputation, which in and of itself kept at bay all but the most determined. The reputation of the place was, indeed, so black that the access codes of the most secure vaults weren't even kept secret.
For surely none would be so idiotic--so virtually suicidal--as to deliberately seek out such knowledge.
Yet, by the time two months had passed since first hearing of the Scrolls, Jenny sat in her cockpit, ship controls set on autopilot, a stolen--but, really, having been cloned from a Gallifreyan, from the sole surviving Time Lord, surely she had the right?--book in her lap. Its cover was blacker than midnight.
Dread pooling in her stomach--the fuse lit within her soul felt mere centimeters long--hearts lodged in her throat, Jenny opened the book. Her eyes scanned the coal-colored pages, barely able to read the pale ink, though the language itself--a result of her shared Doctor-memories--posed almost no challenge. Squinting, Jenny read.
And read.
And...
...her soul-fuse reached its end.
Horror burst through her. Hearts pounding in her ears, a cold sweat covering her, Jenny stared at the book, every inch atremble.
The Time Lords had been right to try to erase the memory of the Hell that Gallifrey had been such a long time ago, before her father's time. They'd been right.
No mind should ever have housed the knowledge that Jenny now possessed. What she'd learned within just the first few pages...her stomach churned and roiled in terrified protest. And, so long as there was even one living mind in the entire universe that held something so bleak within it...
Dad--Doctor--forgive me...
Almost of its own accord, Jenny's hand reached for her ship's controls. Sought out the mechanisms that would start the countdown to self-destruct.
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no subject
Date: 2015-04-13 03:40 pm (UTC)Thank you for writing this! Obviously I would prefer that Jenny live a long time and not be burned up by any horrifying knowledge, but this is a good story. It succeeded in being upsetting. Don't feel horrible! Not all quests end happily.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-13 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-14 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-14 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-14 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-14 08:13 pm (UTC)And it's one of those rare moments that I'm glad that the Doctor doesn't exist, because I think he'd hate me for this...